Sunday, September 13, 2009

fuck.

major fuck up.


family get together at my boyfriend's mom's house on labor day. they both know about my eating disorders, but they don't know that i've relapsed. i'm sure my boyfriend has told her about my new eating habits, which are non-existant. his mom made me this huge plate of mac n cheese, green beans, baked beans (no meat cuz i'm kind of a vegan). i ate while they watched me with worried eyes. i didn't want to disappoint them, so i ate almost everything on my plate.

i didn't purge. i couldn't we didn't leave her house until 3 hours after i ate, so there was no way it was coming back up. i worked out for 2 hours when i finally made it home.

i restarted the abc diet on tuesday and it's going well.

thank you to everyone who comment and following my blog! i appreciate it so much.

xoxo

vixen

15 holla'd back:

Yet said...

Does this diet mean...that you're eating again?

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Hey suga. Know that you're in my prayers. I can only imagine the daily struggles you go through, but am sure you will be victorious. The fact that you're not ignoring it a big step. May you have all the support and encouragement you need. Hugs!

Simply Tiffany said...

Hey vixen babe, I'm so proud that you ate that food. Now what is the abc diet? Vix have you tried just eating like vegetables, fish, and pasta,rice and seafood only u can still eat these things get all the nutrients u need and be healthy and lean. I'm praying for u girl

Schizophrenic Brooklynite said...

I Hope this relapse ends soon and rehabilitation starts. We can't force you to eat through comments, and i know seeing your commentors say "Eat Something, Thats bad for you" doesn't help, it probably annoys the life out of you.

However I will say this, aknowledging it is the first step so i believe your on your way to getting back on track.

Epiphany said...

love you girl.

You're beautiful either way, so proud of you. x

Hard Shell w/ Soft center said...

Showing luv... lots of XOXO

Reggie said...

PLeae eaT, Vixen!!!!! I am going to need you to eat as you read my next book!

Oh, I love you! Reggie loves his Vixen!!!! MUAH!

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

aw bb's sorry to hear this, I hope your feeling better soon!

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

I applaud your boyfriend and his mom, how was that a fuck up? Girl you should have ate all of that stuff anyway....I just hope you can really deal with this and start eating healthy regularly. Best wishes

Brownngirl said...

Just showing some love. I hope you're doing better. Prayers for you, lady!

Savory Sweet said...

Oh my god. I'm sorry you had to go through that, especially because that sounds amazing... but feeling pressured to eat to prove something is an awful feeling.

Be well and do whatever you need to do to feel happy and fulfilled :)

All my support!

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I really hope that you can see how harmful your eating habits are. People around you that love you are really scared for you and worried.

I am really glad you ate that plate of food.

ZION`OLOGY said...

HI SWEETHEART IT`S ZION HERE AKA THE MELTDOWN BITCHLEADER AKA SOUTHERN STAR AKA THE UNDERGROUND BITCH!!!
I WAS JUST PASSING BY TO SHOW U SOME LOVE AND I HOPE EVERYTHING IS GOING WELL OVER THERE....AND GAL U BETTER GET UR GAME ON ME AND REGGIE.CICI,DELLA RESSE ARE BLAZING UP THE BLOG WORLD WITH...http://reggieiscrazy.blogspot.com/....WE`RE THE SHIT AND U BETTER BELIEVE THAT...ANYWAY TAKECARE...MUAH:)

~SpiFFSter ~ {SFC} said...

you better stay on track! I Believe in you!
I think ppl mess up and its up to us to stay on track... I know you can! just Focus!

ZION`OLOGY said...

the blog is up and running plz make sure u stop by....muah...takecae much love zion*
http://meltdownbitchleader.blogspot.com/