Let's Give 'Em Something To Talk About

***this title has nothing to do with this post! cool points to whoever can tell me what song the title comes from!***

Tag! I'm it!
I've been tagged teamed by Curvy Girl and Songstress! (Hey girls! Love you long time!)

here are the rules:

here goes!

1. I eat 3 to 5 apples a day. I love apples.
2. I'm really horny. (TMI? Oh well! This is my blog, damnnit!)
3. I love this video
4. I love black nail polish even though my ex hates when I wear it.
5. I want to meet Maya Angelou. I love her poetry, and I feel a connection to her because our life stories are so similar.
6. My favorite movie of all time is Purple Rain. Gotta love that Prince! Sexy, sexy.

7. I own over 40 lip glosses.

I'm tagging anyone who wants to do this.

I know I've been gone for a while.....the world of Little Miss Vixen is quite crazy these days. My sister got an apartment! YAY! I'm so proud of her! I'm glad she moved out of my place but I'm missing my nieces and my nephew something fierce. I miss them sleeping in my bed with me. I love those kids so much...it's like I gave birth to them, lol.

Oh damn I almost forgot! I saw my father again the week of my uncles funeral. It was at the party my family had to celebrate my uncles life. Bad experience. He ignored my sister and I the whole time. And this shit right here is the fucking shocker: he has a 7 year old son. He actually takes care of this little boy and is involved in his life. Wow. This was my our first time meeting the little dude, and honestly I could care less about the little boy. The whole time we were at the party our father ignored us. I was trying to be strong for my sister, and it took every ounce of strength in my body for me not to walk up to my father and slap the cowboy shit outta him. I was so hurt....everytime he looked at the little boy, his eyes would just light up with unconditional love for the kid. He never looked at my sister and I like that ever in our lives. I'll be honest...that hurt like hell. Ugh.

The ex and I had a lengthy text discussion on Friday night. Here's how it went down:
ex: I've been doing alot of thinking since the day you broke up with me.
vixen: Thinking about what?
ex: I've been trying to figure out why you ended things.
vixen: Because I felt like you were cheating on me.
ex: I never cheated on you.

*****SWEET DAMN!!! He never cheated. I've been missing his ass something fierce****

Guys, he sounded so sincere when he said it. I want to believe him, but the insecure side of myself tells me that I should'nt. He wants us to get back together. Why is love so confusing? Anywhos, I ended up staying the night with him on Saturday. There was no sex invovled! (Which is why I'm so horny now, lol!) We just talked, spooned, and cuddled. I love that man so much. Love is so complicated!

These are the songs I'm feeling this week:
Energy by Keri Hilson



Is It A Crime (live) by Sade


Till It Happens To (live) by Corinne Bailey Rae

Peace and Blessings,
vixen

Tags And Things

***EDIT:I DELETED ALL THE MUSIC FROM THIS POST. IT MAKES MY PAGE LOAD SLOW!***

Hey hey hey!!

So sorry I've bee M.I.A.

Been crazy busy. Working my ass off. My great uncle (my dad's uncle) died Friday morning. He had a stroke. I miss him. He was the coolest uncle ever. Treated my sister and I like we were his own. In memory of him, here's "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd


So my sister and I go to our uncles funeral on Tuesday morning and can you guess who we saw? Our deadbeat dad. He spots us, and he turns around and starts walking in the opposite direction. He's such a dumbass jackass. Ugh. So my sister is getting all emotional about it when our favorite uncle V (he's a cross-dresser. I love his ass! More about him in a later post) strolls over. He hugs us, and tells us that he loves us. That cheers us up, but I'm still upset that our father ignored us, but I'm most worried about my sister. I don't want him to hurt her again. I do know that we will probably see him again on Saturday because our family is having a get together in honor of my uncle. I'm excited because I really don't get to see that side of my family too often.

Things with Panda didn't go well. She stood me up.
No call.
No text.
Nothing.
I don't even care. I'm not going to beg her to be my friend. That's that.



I've been tagged by Ms. Magnificent!

The rules are:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website

1. I have a fraternal twin sister. We aren't identical. I look like mom and she looks like dad. I'm ten minutes older than her.

2. I'm double jointed in my fingers and my toes.

3. I feel really bad for even admitting this, but I love my sister more than I love my older brother. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother but the way I love my sister is on a deeper and spiritual level.

4. I love rough sex. If I'm not getting my ass smacked and having my hair pulled while doing the do, I am not a happy camper. I also love deep kisses....if you're going to kiss me, don't give me a little peck! Use your tongue and make it nasty, please and thank you.

5. I love sunflower seeds.

6. I STAN for the Pussycat Dolls and Girlicious. (yes, I fux with bubblegum pop! don't judge me!) Their songs are so catchy, and their bodies are sick. I also love the way they dress.







7. I'm still stuck on my dad. If you don't know our history, please page down until you find this post: A Letter To My Father. That explains it all.


8. I'm half Haitian. My dad is a full blooded Haitian. His family moved to America when he was 5 years old. My mom is black.


I'm tagging:
Lucky
Tima and Nasha
iCandy21
Dope Fiend
contagiously cranky
luvinyounow
(I tried to post the links, but blogger is acting a damn fool! sorry!)

And now, I will leave you with two songs that I'm really feeling this week.

Almost-Tamia
Realize-Colbie Calliat

Peace and Blessings,
vixen

P.S. Get up and vote! I already did! It's up to us to help change our country for the better! Go team Obama!

A Letter To My Father

Dear Father:

Thank you for walking out on me when I was 4 years old.
Thank you for not loving me.
Thank you for making me feel like I will never be completely loved or accepted for who I am.
Thank you for popping in and out of my life, promising me the world, and then leaving again.
Thank you getting my hopes up by telling me that you are going to pick me up on the weekends and then never showing up.That was really the biggest highlight of my third grade year.
Thank you for not attending my high school graduation.
Thank you for making me feel weird when people ask me where you are.
Thank you for not being there when my stepfather started molesting me when I was 9 years old.
Thank you for not being there when another man raped me when I was 13.
Thank you for all the times I've cried myself to sleep every night on Father's Day. Thank you for never showing up for father/daughter functions at school.
Thank you for breaking my mom's heart.
Thank you for leaving my mom to raise 3 kids by herself.
Thank you for promising to buy me a car that I never got.
Thank you for making me feel like I'm incompetent.
Thank you for all the time I waste thinking about you.
Thank you. You are the reason why I avoid getting close to people because I'm afraid they will abandon me.
Thank you for the time you ignored me when you saw me at Target.
Thank you for putting me on a diet when I was 10 years old. Drinking the Slim-Fast you gave me and running around our neighborhood really made me feel confidant about my body.
Thank you for telling me that black girls can't have eating disorders.
Thank you for calling me stupid.
Thank you for making me feel like I will never be good enough.

Breakups And Such

I broke things off with the boyfriend this morning. I think from now on we'll call him 'C' . Anyways, I ended our relationship of a year and a half today. I haven't cried yet. I'm not even upset. I actually kind of feel like I'm on autopilot now...I just feel numb. I don't think it has hit me yet. It's funny, when we were together I would get upset whenever I thought about us not being together. I asked him if he cheated and of course he denied it. I still have a feeling that he did but whatever, I'm not going to stress over it. What is meant to be will be. He is my heart, and I still love him, but I can't be in a relationship with someone I can't trust. We had a good day at work (sidenote:did I mention that we work together? He's my boss. I met him there. But that's a whole other post.) even after I told him I didn't want to be together anymore. I know I sound optimistic right now, but I think I would flip the fuck out if I saw him with another chick. But I will cross that bridge when it gets here....

I want to tell you guys about the whole weird situation that is my father, but that will set off a crying jag, and I don't think I'm prepared for that today. Another post, someday soon, I promise.

So on with some (hopefully) good news: I will be starting treatment for my eating disorder this week. I will be attending meetings on Tuesday and Thursday nights until I conquer this demon they call anorexia and bulemia. These are the same meetings I attended two years ago when I first got sick. I think I will do well, but I'm not sure about the whole eating thing (insert irony here). All I ate today was three apples and a bottle of water. I can't remember the last time I had a real meal. But that's neither here or there. But I will say this: I really want to get better.

Peace and Blessings,
vixen

Untitled

I miss my father.