Somebody's Gotta Be On Top

Ladies, help me please! I still haven't mastered the art of being on top during sex. Any tips? Hit me up in the comments. All advice is much appreciated! 

Peace and Blessings,

vixen 

Tired.

Hey! I wanted to do a post today, but I'm tired from a four-hour long love making session with my boyfriend. I'll get back to you guys as soon as my man and I get some rest.

Peace and Blessings,

vixen

"Everybody needs somebody/You're not the only one"- 'November Rain' by Guns N Roses

It's Been A While.....

and I'm so sorry for not keeping my blog family updated like I should have.  There's been so much going on in my personal life. My boyfriend and I got back together, and things are going extremely well. I love his ass so much! Words can't describe how much he means to me. Our Valentine's Day was really nice: we worked together the entire day and most of the night and I didn't think he was going to get me a gift, so when I got in his car after we got off, I was surprised to see balloons, candy, a card, and a teddy bear. Everybody say it with me: AAAAAWWWWW!! I was so surprised..... it was a pleasant surprise. He also got me some bomb ass speakers to got with my ipod. So you know what we had to do when we got back to his house, right? Made love all night. It was the best Valentine's Day ever.

Anywhos, my aunt has breast cancer, so I need you guys to pray for her. My uncle V might have it in his lungs again (he had it in '94 and it went in remission in '97 but now the doctors are saying he might have it again) so I need you guys to pray for him as well. 

Guess what? I've gained 6 pounds, and I haven't binged or purged within the past month and a half. I'll be honest, I almost flipped out and lost my shit when I stepped on the scale and saw that I gained weight, but then I realized that I needed to gain weight to truly get over my eating disorders. My boyfriend is happy, he wants me to gain more weight so my butt can get bigger, lol. I've been doing a ton of crunches so none of  the weight goes to my tummy, cuz I gotta get my belly button pierced so I can rock my bikini for the entire summer. 

On to more fun things....

I GOT A MACBOOK!!!! I'm so in love with it already. I have the silver one. It's ssoooo sleek and zexy. Photo Booth is the best invention ever. My boyfriend and I have already made a sex tape on it. Don't worry, after we watched it a couple times, I deleted it. I'm not trying to pull a Kim Kardashian. (Even though she's fine as hell. If I could hook up with one girl it would be her, without a doubt. Her curves are so hot.) 

Speaking of Kim Kardashian, why didn't anyone tell me that her ex Ray-J was doing that show on VH-1? If I had known he was doing that, I would have auditioned for it. Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend, but I saw the sex tape Ray-J did with Kim Kardashian and um.... can you say LONG DONG SILVER?!? His music may suck, but his peen looks like a baseball bat. 

Moving right along.....

I just some sew-in extentions, and it hurts like hell!!! The braids under my weave are so tight! It hurts so bad. I was so close to taking it down, but I spent too much money getting it done, so I'm just gonna have to ride this one out. 

My birthday is next month on the 17th! I'll be 23. I'm so excited I'm having a girls night to celebrate. It's gonna be the best time ever. 

Get your money straight.....I'm expecting a shitload of presents. 

Peace and Blessings,

vixen

Revolution Is Now

Hey beautiful people! Missed you!

Where to begin.....

These are my new years resoultions:

• move out of my moms house
• blog more often
• learn to love my body for what it is and lose the attachment I have for the scale in my bathroom
• work on my temper (sometimes the vixen can be a real bitch!)
• learn to be more patient
• stop drinking so much diet coke
• work on my self-esteem
• learn to trust men
• stop procrastinating
• work out more often
• eat more fruits and vegtables
• learn to love myself more

What else do I have to say? Oh damn I almost forgot! I'm going to therapy. I've addressed the issues with my eating disorders, but I really need to learn how to deal with all the things that happened to me when I was younger (being raped when I was 13, and being molested by my stepfather), and I've been snapping on my mom for no reason. She really doesnt deserve that, and I need to control my temper. So wish me luck! My first session is going to be sometime next month. (and I'm getting a pap smear Thursday morning.)

So I hung out with Panda Friday night. It was so fun! We had drinks with some of our old friends from high school, and um.....I got drunk! I never drink, bur for some weird reason, I felt like I had to keep on drinking. I totally puked all over my friend's house, and two of the girls had to help me walk to the car because I could'nt stand up straight. The girls and I also watched porn. (We were curious....none of us know how to ride a dick properly....ladies, if you have any tips PLEASE let me know!) Good times, good times.

Peace and Blessings,

vixen

Random

Hey! Just wanted to say that I'm not neglecting my blog on purpose. It's just that my internet has been on some BULLSHIT!

Thank you so much for being patient with me.

Err...where do I begin? My life has been pretty hectic for the past three weeks. I've been working, going to my dance classes, attending the meetings for my eating disorders, and Christmas shopping.

Here's my Christmas list:

Daisy by Marc Jacobsa digital camera

Christian Dior Diorshow mascara in very black

this Louis Vuitton bag

The Complete First Season of Fame


My dance classes have been fucking awesome! I'm taking tap, jazz, ballet , and hip-hop. I love it!

So um.....the ex and I slept together on Saturday night. I stayed the night at his house. It was actually quite nice.....we talked, and assured me that her never cheated. I'm a little apprehensive about us getting back together because of my insecurities. I'm really afraid of getting hurt....it's kinda like I'm sheilding myself from any future pain. I'm scared if I let him back in something bad will happen and it'll blow up in my face. My biggest fear is that he'll find someone better (in my twisted head, better means skinner and prettier.) and forget about me. I love him , and I can't imagine not having him in my life. My fear of being hurt gets in the way of us being together , and I have a hard time trusting men. All the men that I've incountered have done really bad things to me (i.e. , my father walking out on me , my stepfather molesting me when I was younger , and being raped by another man when I was 13.) and I just can't seem to get over it. Errrr.....this is really complicated.

These are the songs I'm feeling this week:

Let's Give 'Em Something To Talk About

***this title has nothing to do with this post! cool points to whoever can tell me what song the title comes from!***

Tag! I'm it!
I've been tagged teamed by Curvy Girl and Songstress! (Hey girls! Love you long time!)

here are the rules:

here goes!

1. I eat 3 to 5 apples a day. I love apples.
2. I'm really horny. (TMI? Oh well! This is my blog, damnnit!)
3. I love this video
4. I love black nail polish even though my ex hates when I wear it.
5. I want to meet Maya Angelou. I love her poetry, and I feel a connection to her because our life stories are so similar.
6. My favorite movie of all time is Purple Rain. Gotta love that Prince! Sexy, sexy.

7. I own over 40 lip glosses.

I'm tagging anyone who wants to do this.

I know I've been gone for a while.....the world of Little Miss Vixen is quite crazy these days. My sister got an apartment! YAY! I'm so proud of her! I'm glad she moved out of my place but I'm missing my nieces and my nephew something fierce. I miss them sleeping in my bed with me. I love those kids so much...it's like I gave birth to them, lol.

Oh damn I almost forgot! I saw my father again the week of my uncles funeral. It was at the party my family had to celebrate my uncles life. Bad experience. He ignored my sister and I the whole time. And this shit right here is the fucking shocker: he has a 7 year old son. He actually takes care of this little boy and is involved in his life. Wow. This was my our first time meeting the little dude, and honestly I could care less about the little boy. The whole time we were at the party our father ignored us. I was trying to be strong for my sister, and it took every ounce of strength in my body for me not to walk up to my father and slap the cowboy shit outta him. I was so hurt....everytime he looked at the little boy, his eyes would just light up with unconditional love for the kid. He never looked at my sister and I like that ever in our lives. I'll be honest...that hurt like hell. Ugh.

The ex and I had a lengthy text discussion on Friday night. Here's how it went down:
ex: I've been doing alot of thinking since the day you broke up with me.
vixen: Thinking about what?
ex: I've been trying to figure out why you ended things.
vixen: Because I felt like you were cheating on me.
ex: I never cheated on you.

*****SWEET DAMN!!! He never cheated. I've been missing his ass something fierce****

Guys, he sounded so sincere when he said it. I want to believe him, but the insecure side of myself tells me that I should'nt. He wants us to get back together. Why is love so confusing? Anywhos, I ended up staying the night with him on Saturday. There was no sex invovled! (Which is why I'm so horny now, lol!) We just talked, spooned, and cuddled. I love that man so much. Love is so complicated!

These are the songs I'm feeling this week:
Energy by Keri Hilson



Is It A Crime (live) by Sade


Till It Happens To (live) by Corinne Bailey Rae

Peace and Blessings,
vixen

These Are My Confessions.....

***DISCLAIMER: THIS POST HAS A LOT OF CURSE WORDS IN IT. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE PROFANITY, STOP READING NOW.***


Hi everybody! First off, let me say that I am truly sorry for taking so long to do a post. My job has been so crazy- instead of working 40 hours a week I've been working 60. Needless to say, I've been WAY tired. Like falling-asleep-as-soon-as-my-head-hits-the-pillow-tired.

My twin sister moved in with my mom and I like 4 days ago, and I'm already feeling the strain of it. She got put out of her apartment because her bitch ass baby daddy (yes my sister is one of those ghetto as hell girls whose 3 kids have 3 different dads...but I digress) robbed some guy that lives in the same apartments so the guy went and shot inside my sisters house while my nieces and nephew where in there. Clearly I'm pissed off about this situation because 1) my sister and her kids are practically homeless because of this loser, 2) she still talks to him but she lied to my mom and told her that she doesn't talk to him anymore, and 3) that asshole put my neices and nephew in danger and I don't appreciate that shit. My sister is so trifling all she does is sit around and smoke weed all day. She's pissing me off so bad I love my sister to death but she's 22 years old with 3 kids, she needs to grow the hell up and take responsibility for her actions. Our living situation kind of sucks now it's my mom, my sister, my 2 neices and my nephew in a two bedroom house. Can you say cramped? The kids sleep in my bed with me, and my sister sleeps on our sofa. I'm happy that the kids are here, because I get to see them more, but my sister is starting to irk me something fierce. Like she doesn't give the kids baths she sleeps all day, and she's basically just lazy as hell. I wake up eary in the morning, get the kids ready for school, drop them off, work 10 hours a day, come home, help the kids with their homework, give them baths, and put them to bed. Do you think my ungrateful ass sister has thanked me for any of this? NO. I'm about ready to give up on her. I'm tired. Sometimes I want to grab her and shake her and slap some since into her. She needs to get her ass beat.

So like the title indicated, I have some confessions to make.....

I havent eaten anything since Friday. Getting better is harder than I thought it would be. I'm so afraid of gaining weight. The last time I ate I just threw it all up after I was done.

The ex and I ended up having sex the other night. I could give you a bunch of excuses, but I'm not going to. Hell, I was horny. He told me he loved me after we were done. I'm not going to get my hopes up because I doubt that he wants me back.

These are my confessions...what are yours?

Peace and Blessings,
vixen