Tired.

Hey! I wanted to do a post today, but I'm tired from a four-hour long love making session with my boyfriend. I'll get back to you guys as soon as my man and I get some rest.

Peace and Blessings,

vixen

"Everybody needs somebody/You're not the only one"- 'November Rain' by Guns N Roses

Birthday Recap

Hey! I know I said that I would be giving you the details of my birthday to you on Sunday morning, but my grandma ended up having to have an emergency open heart surgery that day. Needless to say, I was scared shitless and blogging about my birthday wasn't something I was up for doing. She's fine now and the doctors expect her to make a full recovery. So thank the Lord for that. I love my Granny so much and I would be devastated if something happened to her.

My birthday bash was a huge success! It was the best time ever. My girls and I got all cute and dressed up (have you ever shared a bathroom mirror with five other girls? Craziness.) and we went to dinner first. Then went to sex shop where I got some things for my boyfriend and myself (one of those things includes a school girls uniform! Hottness! I can't wait for him to see it!) and my friends and I were just generally acting silly. After we left the sex shop, we went to see male strippers! OMG! Those dudes were so fine! My bestie Panda got a face full of peen from this stripper named Chocolate God. He was soooo fine. I'm glad my boyfriend wasn't there cuz he probably would have kicked my ass if he saw me drooling all over those strippers!! Thank God Panda was our designated driver, because by the time we left the strip club, we were tipsy as hell! It was Panda's bright idea for us to get someone liquor and take it back to her place. It was five in the morning, and all of us were FUCKED UP!!!! That was the best birthday I've ever had!!

Peace and Blessing,

vixen

It's Friday Night....

.....and I'm sitting at home by myself watching 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders Of The Eighties on VH-1. Why? Because my boyfriend doesn't get off work until 10. I can't wait to see him.... I need some peen. Even though we had a quickie this morning. : )  I love him so much, I'm so glad we're back together. I love falling asleep in his arms, kissing him , and spending time with his children. I love how he interacts with his kids..... It's actually one of the reasons why I fell in love with him.  I really feel like we're starting to come together as a real family. 

My leg is getting better. I put on my toe shoes this morning, and I actually could stand on my toes without my leg hurting. Out of all my dance classes, I miss ballet the most. I take jazz, hip-hop, tap, modern street styles, and ballet. I feel the most connected to the ballet classes because I've been taking them since I was 3 years old.  Hopefully I will be able to attend my classes again starting next week. 

I've been eating pretty well.... no binging and purging, no more starving myself, and I've been attending therapy. I'm really happy about getting better. I still have thoughts about losing weight, but I just push them out. I still do tons of sit-ups, because I'm so not trying to have a pudge while I'm rocking my bikini this summer, no ma'am. 

I'm really feeling this video this week. 

That is all.

Peace and Blessings

vixen

It's Been A While.....

and I'm so sorry for not keeping my blog family updated like I should have.  There's been so much going on in my personal life. My boyfriend and I got back together, and things are going extremely well. I love his ass so much! Words can't describe how much he means to me. Our Valentine's Day was really nice: we worked together the entire day and most of the night and I didn't think he was going to get me a gift, so when I got in his car after we got off, I was surprised to see balloons, candy, a card, and a teddy bear. Everybody say it with me: AAAAAWWWWW!! I was so surprised..... it was a pleasant surprise. He also got me some bomb ass speakers to got with my ipod. So you know what we had to do when we got back to his house, right? Made love all night. It was the best Valentine's Day ever.

Anywhos, my aunt has breast cancer, so I need you guys to pray for her. My uncle V might have it in his lungs again (he had it in '94 and it went in remission in '97 but now the doctors are saying he might have it again) so I need you guys to pray for him as well. 

Guess what? I've gained 6 pounds, and I haven't binged or purged within the past month and a half. I'll be honest, I almost flipped out and lost my shit when I stepped on the scale and saw that I gained weight, but then I realized that I needed to gain weight to truly get over my eating disorders. My boyfriend is happy, he wants me to gain more weight so my butt can get bigger, lol. I've been doing a ton of crunches so none of  the weight goes to my tummy, cuz I gotta get my belly button pierced so I can rock my bikini for the entire summer. 

On to more fun things....

I GOT A MACBOOK!!!! I'm so in love with it already. I have the silver one. It's ssoooo sleek and zexy. Photo Booth is the best invention ever. My boyfriend and I have already made a sex tape on it. Don't worry, after we watched it a couple times, I deleted it. I'm not trying to pull a Kim Kardashian. (Even though she's fine as hell. If I could hook up with one girl it would be her, without a doubt. Her curves are so hot.) 

Speaking of Kim Kardashian, why didn't anyone tell me that her ex Ray-J was doing that show on VH-1? If I had known he was doing that, I would have auditioned for it. Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend, but I saw the sex tape Ray-J did with Kim Kardashian and um.... can you say LONG DONG SILVER?!? His music may suck, but his peen looks like a baseball bat. 

Moving right along.....

I just some sew-in extentions, and it hurts like hell!!! The braids under my weave are so tight! It hurts so bad. I was so close to taking it down, but I spent too much money getting it done, so I'm just gonna have to ride this one out. 

My birthday is next month on the 17th! I'll be 23. I'm so excited I'm having a girls night to celebrate. It's gonna be the best time ever. 

Get your money straight.....I'm expecting a shitload of presents. 

Peace and Blessings,

vixen

Bliss......

The ex and I have gotten back together.

This is the happiest I've been in a very long time.

I love him so much and while that is a very good feeling, it scares me to death.

Taking a chance and letting it all go.

Gotta jet.

Going to go make love to my man.

Peace and blessings,

Vixen

Breakups And Such

I broke things off with the boyfriend this morning. I think from now on we'll call him 'C' . Anyways, I ended our relationship of a year and a half today. I haven't cried yet. I'm not even upset. I actually kind of feel like I'm on autopilot now...I just feel numb. I don't think it has hit me yet. It's funny, when we were together I would get upset whenever I thought about us not being together. I asked him if he cheated and of course he denied it. I still have a feeling that he did but whatever, I'm not going to stress over it. What is meant to be will be. He is my heart, and I still love him, but I can't be in a relationship with someone I can't trust. We had a good day at work (sidenote:did I mention that we work together? He's my boss. I met him there. But that's a whole other post.) even after I told him I didn't want to be together anymore. I know I sound optimistic right now, but I think I would flip the fuck out if I saw him with another chick. But I will cross that bridge when it gets here....

I want to tell you guys about the whole weird situation that is my father, but that will set off a crying jag, and I don't think I'm prepared for that today. Another post, someday soon, I promise.

So on with some (hopefully) good news: I will be starting treatment for my eating disorder this week. I will be attending meetings on Tuesday and Thursday nights until I conquer this demon they call anorexia and bulemia. These are the same meetings I attended two years ago when I first got sick. I think I will do well, but I'm not sure about the whole eating thing (insert irony here). All I ate today was three apples and a bottle of water. I can't remember the last time I had a real meal. But that's neither here or there. But I will say this: I really want to get better.

Peace and Blessings,
vixen

I'm Back! Well, Kinda...

Lots of things happening in the dramatic saga called my life:


THE GOOD...
My best friend is getting married next October. I'm her maid of honor/hair stylist/makeup artist/assistant wedding planner. We picked out her dress yesterday so now we have the hard task of finding the perfect bridesmaids dresses. Wish us luck!

I recently got a promotion at my job and I have been working over 40 hours a week. This is explains why I haven't been blogging as much as I should. Sorry guys! But I'm trying. : )


THE BAD...
I've lost 35 pounds over the last 2 months. I was anorexic a couple of years ago. Cue relapse now. I'm trying to hide it from my family and it's really hard. They see right through me.

I still miss my father.

I have a sinking feeling that my boyfriend is cheating on me.


Peace and Blessings,
vixen