i haven't really had time to post, and honestly, i'm a little burnt out.
my life has taken on somewhat of a routine:
work.
dance classes.
meetings with a tutor (i'm trying to prepare myself to get back in school).
spending time with the family and the boyfriend.
more work.
gym.
good news: i've lost 7 pounds on the abc diet. my legs are getting muscular from the daily workouts and from taking all the dance classes.
bad news: my boyfriend is on to me. i kind of fainted in the shower at his house the other day. i felt so woozy, and everything turned to black. luckily, i came out unscathed. he's noticed my eating habits (or lack thereof) and he's stressing over me. the hardest part is that i'm hiding this from him. i don't want to disappoint him because he was so proud of me when i started therapy.
it's actually easier to hide it from my mom this time around because i'm never at home, and when i am at home she's either sleeping or at work.
once again, i'm really sorry if i've disappointed anyone by relapsing, but i feel this is what's best for me right now. thanks to everyone for your wonderful comments, and i do read ALL the blogs that are on my blogroll, even though i don't always comment on them.
hi. as you can see from the title, i've had a relapse. i stepped on the scale on monday morning, and i saw that i've gained of total of ten pounds since i've started treatment, and i flipped out. felt like a cow. felt like a fat failure.
binged.
purged.
and for the time being, starvation.
i'm going to take a little break from blogging. i'm not sure when i'll be back. i've got to get this weight off.
Hey everybody! I want to apologize for my random posting. I've just been so busy working almost 60 hours a week, going to my dance classes, and spending quality time with my family. When I get home at the end of the day, I just poop out! I just want everybody to know that I do read all the blogs on my blogroll, even though I don't comment on them.
Now on to more interesting things....
I want Maxwell to make love to me. He is so sexy!
There has been so much drama going on with Panda and her boyfriend. Her bf is basically a drunk loser. He's 24, he lives with his grandfather, he doesn't work, he's not in school. All he does is sit around and drink beer and smoke pot all day. He totaled her car (he claimed someone tried to steal it) he's always in and out of jail. Here's the kicker: he HIT her. She's still with him. She lied to us (us being my friends... I feel the need to give them nicknames: Pleasure D, Brickhouse and KK) and told us that she wasn't going back to him but that same night she went RIGHT BACK to his house. All of us girls almost got into a fight with him, and she just sat in her fucking car and watched. Didn't do a damn thing. He broke my sunglasses and he punched me in my arm. You better believe that I got his ass back right in the eye before the girls dragged me to the car. They just wanted to haul ass before the cops came. I already told her I'm done with her. I refuse to help someone who doesn't want my help. I haven't talked to her in three days. I'm really scared for her.... he's gonna end up killing her. I don't know what else to do.
I've been tagged by some LOVELY people: the-beautifully-flawed-one.blogspot.com gave me the Honest Scrap award in which I'm supposed to reveal 10 truths about myself. Here goes:
1.) I LOVE shopping. Whenever I hit the mall, I get this euphoric feeling. It's like the best orgasm you've ever had in your whole life multiplied by 100. I have a serious problem. Whenever I'm not shopping, I'm browsing clothes online. It's like Carrie Bradshaw said: "I like my money right where I can see it- hanging in my closet". Me too. Carrie Bradshaw ain't never lied. I do feel a little guilty when I shop though. Even though I have a nice little chunk of change in my savings account, I feel like I could contribute to it more if I didn't shop so much.
2.) I LOVE my mommy. So much. More than words can say.
3.) I cried like a baby when I heard about Michael Jackson's passing. I'm such a big fan of all his talents.
4.) I love this video:
5.) I don't understand Twitter.
6.) I still have nightmares about being raped at 13. Sucks.
7.) I love cowboy boots. I have a bright red pair, and they're my favorite.
8.) I cried at my nephews kindergarten graduation. He's growing up so fast!
9.) I burst into song at random moments.
10.) I'm scared to get pregnant because I don't want to get those gross stretchmarks on my stomach.
Here's my second tag from thesweetheartchronicles.blogspot.com and poeticsatindoll.blogspot.com
1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link.
2. Pass the award to other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.
As you can see, I'm switching up the template of my blog. I haven't forgotten about being tagged (thanks, guys!) and I will back later on today with a new post and tags.
I can't believe he's really gone... I admire his music and his dancing style so much....there are so many artists out today who wouldn't have careers if it weren't for him.
Ladies, help me please! I still haven't mastered the art of being on top during sex. Any tips? Hit me up in the comments. All advice is much appreciated!
I've loved this song since the I Am.... Sasha Fierce album came out, and I've been waiting for this video since FOREVER but.... I am so DISAPPOINTED. I had really high expectations for this one, and they were definitely not met. : (
This is why I LOVE my mom: She just bought me a pair of bright red toe shoes. Later for the old pink ones! I can't wait to wear these babies to my dance class tomorrow! All the girls are going to be hatin' so hard!
Hey! I wanted to do a post today, but I'm tired from a four-hour long love making session with my boyfriend. I'll get back to you guys as soon as my man and I get some rest.
Peace and Blessings,
vixen
"Everybody needs somebody/You're not the only one"- 'November Rain' by Guns N Roses
Goofy. Dorky. Sweet. Silly. Dancer. Singer. Writer. I'm a daughter, a sister, and the best aunt in the world. I have a twin sister. I'm fabulous and I'm fucking FIERCE. I would love to be in a girl group.I love having natural hair....Going natural is easily the best thing I've ever done. Some would say I am a ball of confusion and wonder. I love gay people, especially the queens, lol! Lots of people say I'm conceited, but I'm really not- I put myself on a pedistal because I feel I deserve the best. People say I'm naturally sexy. I became anorexic when I was 16 years old. I had a relapse in August of 2008. I am in therapy now so I can conquer my eating disorders. I want to reach out to other black girls with eating disorders. I'm a people person, but at the same time I'm really shy. I love to read and music is a HUGE part of my life. I write poetry, short stories, and I have completed 3 novels. I love my family very much.
**UPDATE**: I relapsed. Anorexia is pretty much my life now.
