Sunday, October 19, 2008

Naughty Girl And A Best Friend Breakup

I've been naughty....

I've been bad....

Spank me!!!!

I am SOOOOO sorry for not being on top of my blogging like I should be! I want to apologize to Tima and Nasha, Jaded, icandy21, Pink, Lucky, contagiously cranky, luvinyounow, brownngirl, and Kitty. (If I left anyone off this list, I'm sorry!) You guys, I am so sorry for not commenting on your blogs like I should be doing! I just simply haven't had the time. Just know that I love you forever, and I always read your posts even though I don't always comment on them.

How's my blog fam?! Good, I hope. Things are getting much better in the life of vixen. I'm still going to my treatment meeting for my anorexia and bulimia, and I've been eating 3 meals a day without throwing them up for the past week. YYYYYYAAAAAYYYY!!!! LOL! I'm really proud of myself.....I've just been taking this one day at a time. O-M-FREAKING-G!!!!! Why didn't anyone tell me that they started making peanut butter Twix?!!? Those things are the business!! I had one this morning, and it's the little things like those that make me appreciate getting healthy again. Look at me, getting all sentimental over a Twix! No but seriously, those things are some serious chocolaty-peanut-buttery-slap-ya-mama-and-ya-grandma-GOODNESS!! That's the best thing I've eaten in a long-ass time!

Now, on to more pressing issues.....

My former BFF (from now on we will call her Panda because she loves panda bears) called me up this morning and asked me if I wanted to spend my off day with her. Keep in mind that I haven't seen or spoken to her in months. I tell her yes. My off day is Wednesday so we will see how this goes. I think I should give you guys the vixen and Panda back story:

**we met freshman year of high school
**we were like peas and carrots- you never ever saw one without the other, no ma'am. Like seriously, I never thought that our friendship would end up like it is now.
**we kinda had a falling out like a year and a half ago- it wasn't really an argument, we were just busy with our own lives- i.e., she got pregnant but she had a miscarriage, I was working all the time and fighting my eating disorders, she got a boyfriend (the guy she was pregnant by was not the child's father). Our friendship has been shaky ever since.

All in all we just stopped talking. I'm a little apprehensive about hanging out with her because I'm afraid it will be awkward because we haven't talked in so long. I hope all goes well.

Anywhos, I've been working with the ex, and for the first time, it's been hard as hell. I was so emotionally numb when we first broke up that I didn't really feel anything, but now that I know there's a possibility that he will be with someone else, it just KILLS me. I need to get over this because while we were together I had a really strong feeling that he was cheating on me. I can't be with someone like that. I don't know how to get over this....I'm new at this whole dating and relationships thing.

Any advice? Hit me up in the comment section. I love hearing from you!

Peace and Blessings,
vixen

33 holla'd back:

luvinyounow said...

Vixen! You're back! That makes me happy. No need to apologize for not writing.

I'm REALLY glad you're getting better. Keep up the great work!

I know all about getting over somebody you never thought you would have to get over. Honestly, the only thing you can do is continue on with your life, day by day. It's gonna hurt for a while, but after some time passes, there will be the day that you realize you haven't thought about them all day.

But then again, you work with him, right? I guess that's a different case. It's much easier to get over someone if you don't have to see or talk to them everyday. I'd say just try to stay away from him.

Good luck!

CurvyGurl said...

Hey girlie! I'm so glad you're continuing to do well. I totally agree with luvinyou now, there's really no one-size-fits-all approach, it just takes time. It'll creep up on ya if you let it, but I always find it helpful to remind myself how fab I am with or without that person and the main reason why it didn't work in the first place. That usually snaps me back to reality and lessens the chances of a tear fest. Much love!

Da Hunni Toya said...

Everything will go good with your BFF. Best friends go through stuff like that at times.

Its gonna take time to get over ur EX may take months or even years but trust me you will get over him.If you dont think about him as much. You will soon get over him.

Its somebody in this world for everybody so dont worry you will find that somebody that will treat you like you deserve to be treated.

Tima And Nasha said...

VIXEN!!!!! Its Tima and Girl I'm soooo PROUD of YOU!!!! I knew u can do it! Just one day at a time. I'm keep praying for you!

Eb the Celeb said...

Congrats girlie on getting the eating disorder under control... I am extremely proud of you!

Keli said...

It's so cliche...but time...it takes time to get past a broken relationship...both the ex and the friend...time will tell if she is still truly your friend...and time will allow you to heal and get over your ex boyfriend.

Thanks for your words on my blog today, and congratulations on your 3 weeks.

Kandi Black said...

Wats up chick...glad you're feeling good...as far as ur best friend and ex goes...just take is easy and don't worry about it...things sometimes have a way of working themselves out...

Lena said...

Congratulations on your three weeks, and I hope you continue to improve and overcome your disorder.

As for your friend, I am sure it would be okay. Honestly, I think most friendships especially the long and important to you go through a phase like that. Just be yourself.

For the ex, just throw up the peace sign say deuces and know it will be better but your main focus should be you.

Omotee! said...

hey! glad to know u r getting better, one step at a time works!

a break in transmission with BFF is ok, u'll just pick it up from where u left off and its gonna be fine again.

KoffeeD said...

Its great to read things are doing WAY better... I don't know about the best friend thing... mine was shady and well i don't really like her so.. we grew apart one could say...

As for the ex.. hmm i don't know.. have you guys even talked about the relationship.. ever as to why y'all broke up? I just think if you guys can talk about it it could help with healing.. just my take..

A.M. said...

I'm happy to see u back, as I possibly take a leave of absence.

YAYYYY that ur doing better, I am sooooo happy for u.

About your best friend. Give it a try. I've had situations like that before and you would be shocked to see how well it can turn out.

About the ex? I dont know what to say. You seeing him everyday is gonna make this a lot harder than it needs to be. Not seeing someone you're in love with but can't be with n e more, hurts enough. Having to see them everyday, I would die.

Any tips. I honestly don't have any. It's on of those things that, "gets better in time."

I'm working on it myself.

Tom_Gurl said...

Firstly, congrats on winning the battle....continue to take each day as it comes...

In terms of the ex...you gotta do the same...take each day as it comes. It takes time...you can't rush matters of the heart. It will hurt, but over time it will get easier!

Good luck girl!

n0days0ff said...

Congrats on getting healthy.things will be fine with your best friend,I've gone through that a few times with my friends but after like two minutes we were right back like the old days

Camila said...

interesting...i had that whole BFF scenario my freshman year of college. FBFF went away for a year, tried to keep in touch, lost touch, I tried my ass off to KIT, her ass didn't, when we finally bumped into each other, she didnt care, i still did because wtf we were BFF, i still tried, and i just fucking gave up.

lol.

sometimes, we're only friends in the circumstances that we're in...but it all depends. it's really hard to find best friends that you can drag on through each phase of your life.

but i wish you all the best :D

and as for ex, ehhhhh...no advice for me right now. it just takes time...time heals all. i thought i'd never get over my last break-up. i somehow think i still haven't gotten over it. but i saw him this weekend [or saw him out of the corner of my eye] and for the first time in a LONG time, i didn't feel DEATHLY SICK or VOMITATIOUS or NAUSEOUS...i was happy.

and i hope you eventually get there, too.

you do you, girl.

like nike...just do it ;]

kisses.
muah. muah.
camila.

Danielle said...

I think you and your ex-BFF should definitely meet up. It's always going to be awkward if you haven't seen someone in awhile, but eventually that'll die down. You only live once...

~SpiFFSter ~ {SFC} said...

Well...
I need to try the new twix asap!
umm..
I feel like my Best friend and I are falling apart too...(in fact let me save that for a blog)
um... you need to focus on the positives in yuor life and know that you are in a much better place; nah mean ( I needed to seem hood and not too soft) LMAO!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

glad u hooked up wityh your folk and why is it hard working with ex? and stay on top of glog game jones

contagiouslyCRANKY said...

HEY HUNNI..IM SO EXCITED TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE DOING WELL DEAR... IM SURE THAT YOU AND THE EX BF ARE GONNA BE FINE ON WEDNESDAY...IF YOU GUYS WERE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS THEN THE AWKWARD MOMENT WILL PASS BY WITH THE QUICKNESS AND YOUR DAY WILL BE FULL OF CATCHING UP!!


**keeping y0u in my prayers**

YoungBlackBeauty said...

That's how me and my BFF are. She got pregger ( just had a second one) and it really split us apart. We are still cool but not like we used to be.

Men are...scum! It don't even know where to begin with the man advice. Find a theme song and sing that bitch to the top of ur lungs when ur down and find some new dack! That always helps! LOL!

;-)

Shubby Doo said...

i'm sooo proud of you... that your eating...little steps everyday...

the boyfriend thing is hard...i couldn't do it...so for being able 2...i see strength

FlyyGurl said...

personally, I would just bust a cap in his ass....but i guess thats not the right road to take lol. but its really good to know that you are feeling better!!!! and even better u back writing! =)

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

Like everything in life take it one day at a time.

Don't put pressure on your self with Panda or with hurrying up through resolving your ex feelings. Just do you and see how it feels at the moment, make conscious decisions not just decisions that are programmed.

You'll be fine!

-OG

Bloggal said...

I think everyone is slacking on the blog front nowadays, it's a really busy time for some reason. So don't feel bad for falling off.
Good to hear your doing well girly:)

desirae! said...

i'm so happy you're doing well and you're trying your best to beat this!! everything gets better in time...so says Leona Lewis.

I trust her. :)

i hope the hanging out with the old friend thing went well! i've hung out with some and it didn't turn out well, but then again i've hung out with other old friends and we've gotten closer. so hopefully the latter will happen for you!

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

the more you try hard to do something the more you think about it...anyon e who has ever tried to be on a diet knows what its like in the first days all you think about is food food food....my point is, stop trying so hard to get over your X, getting over someone is not a hurdle that you are supposed to jump over and then cross some kind of finishing line where things will suddenely be okay and you are happy again.....getting over someone is a culmination of different things, it means to stop focusing on him (what he is doing, who he is with, how he is feeling) and focusing on you (what you need, what you feel, how you are doing). Focus on you, on the things that make you happy, how you can make yourself happy, how you can make your current life more enjoyable (maybe meeting up with BFF is a start) and soon you will be so busy being happy that focusing on him becomes an effort and he stops being important to you or your existence, you no longer care whether he is seeing someone else or worry about what he is doing...thats whats getting over someone means (to me anyway)

1/3 said...

i haven't been over in a while.

I think its really cool that you are sharing your story with us. I hope it helps that you are getting this all out. i'm soo happy you are getting better:-)

i wish i could give u advice about getting over an ex...ill say just try to get as much closure as you need. the less baggage for the next relationship the better.

added ya to my blogroll:-)

Ms. Jones said...

Glad to hear that things are on the up and up with you! I've had BFF issues, lets just say I the time ya'll spent together went better than how some of my situations turned out lol.

As far as the ex...its going to hit you like a ton of bricks so brace yourself, trust me it gets easier!

The Black Kat said...

Glad to hear you're doing better! Yaay for (3) weeks! But, yeah... you've got to post more often. (I know, I know... like I have any room to talk on posting!)

Anyhoo... time is the best healer of all things broken. Broken hearts, broken friendships, etc. But w/ that being said... in time, all things will work out for good & clarity. I do hope that you & your BFF can repair your friendship. As for the ex... as long as you don't let him rent space in your head for free (consume your thoughts), you'll be fine. Have a great day!

Mizrepresent said...

Hey gurl, glad you are back!

Kitty said...

Hey Vixen!! Glad to hear you're doing well love. Keep up the good work. We're all pulling for you. So how'd it go with the former BFF?? Awkward? Fabulous? Do tell!!

F.U. said...

Hey Vixen! Can't wait to hear how things went with Panda.

The Ex situation will get better with time....

Sooooo glad you're eating and getting better! And I love me a Twix too! But not the peanut butta...just the regula schmegula caramel Twix. Yum!

Ms. Magnificant said...

Hey Vixen You've been tagged
was tagged by the fantastic Niya and here are the rules:

Here are the Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website

Melody.Darlene said...

damn a best friend break-up?? did u try a trial separation first? lol