Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Guilty Pleasures, Barack Obama, And A Meltdown Of Epic Proportions

Hey hey hey everybody! Did you miss me? Of course you did! LOL. I missed you guys too! Babies, vixen's exhausted.

I just want to stop and take a moment to tell you guys how happy your comments make me! You have no idea how much I look forward to reading them. I appreciate you guys for coming by my blog, and here's a big ol' HI! to all my new readers...adding you to the blogroll soon. : )

So I know you guys are wondering if I'm eating, and yes, I am. I had to. I was so weak it was to the point where I felt nauseous everytime I bent down to tie my shoes. I'm taking it slow because I know that I can't be cured overnight....this is really hard for me. I've had the urge to throw up everytime I eat but I'm fighting it. I can't let this eating disorder kill me. I went to my eating disorder support group meeting on Thursday night, and Victoria was there. She is the coolest white girl ever! I can tell we're going to be really good friends.

Um...what else? There's not too much going on in the life of vixen. Things with my twin sister are getting a little better. She's trying to do better with the kids, but I'm still doing a majority of the brunt work. Why, you ask? Because I love my neices and my nephew and I want them to have the best. The other night my 5 year old nephew said to me, 'auntie why do you work so much?' and it was then that I realized that I'm doing this for them. I love those kids more than the air I breathe.


Now, on to Mr. Barack Obama!!! I live in Nashville, and he's in town today! They blocked the street where my job is so that he can get to the debate tonight, and I saw him! Yep, you read right! I saw BARACK O-FREAKIN-BAMA!!! He waved at me from his car!!! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! I almost had a freakin heart attack I was so excited that he waved that me! That man is just brilliant, amazing, talented, and beautiful! He's the father I've always wanted. Seeing him made my whole day and it really gave me hope that things are going to change in our country. He's going to be a great president. AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH I can't believe that brilliant man waved at me!

Anywhos..... I had a meltdown of epic proportions after I left work last night. I was thinking about how much my life has changed since I'm not with him anymore. He was my first boyfriend. Breaking up is so hard to do. It just hit me like a ton of bricks....wow, it's really over. I cried so much last night. I get a pain in my chest everytime I think about him. I miss being his girlfriend so much. *plays 'Can't Let Go' by Mariah Carey*

On to more fun things......
This is a list of songs that I consider to be my gulity pleasure songs. (This is a music blog, after all!)




What are your guilty pleasures? Musically and otherwise? Let me know in the comments!

Peace and Blessings,
vixen

41 holla'd back:

Jaded said...

Girl I am a RIDIC Mariah Fan. I'm like the only person I know who loves her lol.

As for the breakup...breakups are hard. they suck. its more than ok to cry about it.

glad you decided to write.

contagiouslyCRANKY said...

damn you jaded..lol jk boo... I love Barack ..why was I walking from Starbucks yesterday thinking about how AMAZZING it would be if I just ran into Mr. Obama gettin some coffee..Ive seen a few celebrities at the Starbucks by my job but the EMT would literally have to revive me cuz i would pass THE HELL out!!

poison.ivy said...

hey chick....i used to have an eating disorder too..i dint throw up, i just didnt eat.
take it one day at a time mama
and dont leave us for soo long!!

Narm said...

Guilty Pleasure? I'm pretty sure a lot of people's answers has to be blogging haha.

Tima And Nasha said...

Vixen! Darling we have missed you and glad you are back! I'm so glad that you went to your support group I'm so proud of you! Just take it one day at a time. Now Barack Obama wavied to you I'm so jealous! I want to see him in person.and I'm glad that sister of yours is slowly changing for the better.

CurvyGurl said...

Hey mami! I'm so glad you're feeling better. Whew, I try not to think about my guilty pleasures too much not to mention they're too outlandish to put in cyberspace :).

luvinyounow said...

So glad you decided to write!

Breakups are SUPER hard, so just cry whenever you feel like crying. I think the worst thing to do is to try and hold it in.

BARACK WAVED AT YOU!!!! I'm soooo jealous.

Guilty Pleasures? All of those stupid reality shows that come on VH1 that I always say I'm not gonna watch. I Love New York, Flavor of Love, From G's to Gents, Rock of Love, etc.

Ms. Magnificant said...

I'm pullling for you vixen...you have to take one day at a time! OMG I'm a twin too...I have a brother tho...We're like kindred sisters lol!

Ma'at said...

It's good to see you back. I know fighting any illness is hard and it's fantastic that you're staying on top of it. I just wanted to say be careful of the people you meet in your support groups because while it's great to have someone who understands your problem you guys can unwittingly enable each other.
On a more postive note those babies are blessed to have such a loving auntie, and the reality is that the love you show them today will make everything better for them tomorrow. You're a bigger gift than you know Miss. Keep up the good work.

Dope Fiend said...

:) hey lovely!

i would so ove to meet Barack...then assimilate myself into his family by marrying his cute cousin. HAHA!

And its okay to cry, its okay to just let it out. huggs!

Ayyyyyyyyy That total Eclipse of a heart is a TUUUUUUUNE! i dont care what anyone says!

hmmm other guilty pleasures...

Celine Dion

Pussy Cat Dolls/Danity Kane/Girlicious....(shame on me)

Totally Spies

Hello Kitty


hehe ok bibi, love ya longtime...gots ta go do some uni work now....:(

Nicole said...

i missed u! u can talk about disappearing!! anyway my love, a few things...
1. im proud of ur fighting attitude =D KEEP ON!

2. it's because of my mums sister that i feel, felt, give and recieve love! those neices n nephews are truelly blessed!

3. as every1 else has said, i am JEALOUS im not even asking for a wave mate just a glimpse.lol

4. my guilty pleasure....my spending habit...if u only knew! sigh...

anyway i'll love ya n leave ya...gona go spend more on d internet.....=P

F.U. said...

Vixen my luv! So glad you stopped by AND even happier that things sound like they are getting better. I'm not sure what's the deal with your sister but I just want to tell you if you keep doin everything for her and her kids, she'll never do anything for herself and even more importantly be a mother to her kids.

So happy you are eating! And you saw Barack!!! Lucky!!!! That can only be a sign of major fabulousness to come!

P.S. before you know it, you will find love again....

iCandy21 said...

Aww pooh pooh head..I'm so proud of you for realizing that you not eating was causing you to become ill, and taking the responsibility of doing what u can to get over your illness!! *hugs* I have faith in you honey!!

Crying is something God gave us to do as a form of release! It's ok to cry b/c normally, even though nothing changes from crying, you feel a little better after you do it.

Awwww shit! Mr. Obama waved at u! you was hype lol

anyway, glad u blogged!! don't let it take u two more weeks to blog again lol

DBaby said...

It's good to hear you are doing well, and I'm so jealous of you for seeing Barack! As far as guilty pleasures, mine would have to be Barbra Streisand.

Shubby Doo said...

'love those kids more than the air I breathe.'

-vixenchick you have a beautiful soul.

re: crying when thinking about you ex
- it's allowed...i used to listen to Mariah's 'breakdown'when it was me...and of course the floodgates opened...crying is good...it allows you to heal

Shubby Doo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mizrepresent said...

What up lil lady, just dropping by to show some love...glad you're eating, if only a bit! Have a great week!

YoungBlackBeauty said...

Vixen I am soo from Nashville,TN born and raised boo!
Im happy that you ate something. Some progress is better than none.

OMG I would have died if I saw Obama. I got all excited when I pulled up for class this morning cuz it was people everywhere with Obama sticker and media and stuff but it was Biden speaking instead. Likes him, but love Obama more!

Muze said...

aww. hugs.

breaking up IS hard to do. even when you weren't fully 'together'. sigh. lol.

anyhoo... glad you are eating and doing well.

yay @ getting a wave from barack! that must have been awesome. he is a super brilliant man.

~SpiFFSter ~ {SFC} said...

TWEET!
Tweet first album was my SHIZZLE!
that entire album is hot and really good....
also(I am sort of shy to type)
Queen Latifah...jazz album... Its really good and seriously hits home in your situation!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

yep missed u and crying is cool but when u let go do it completely or run risk of setting oneself up for heart break again

pink said...

glad you are workin towards gettin better babez!

id have to say that today my guilty pleasure is old fashioned donuts...ive had five this morning *hangs head in shame* i cant help myself they are so flippin good!! lol...im done now tho...my stomach was startin to feel funny. =/

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

Glad you are doing well, and trust Auntie's love makes a different. My dad's sister treats me like her long lost daughter always good to have a lot of mothers ( hello Secret Life of Bees)

Now you are my hero on GP, cause Barack waved at you. I love him too.

Take care. Emotianlly release are good don't beat yourself up you are allowed to feel however you want to feel. I say feel it, accept it, and live.

-OG

-OG

Kitty said...

OMG Barack Obama waved at you. I get hype just watching him represent on TV. I'd a been claiming him.
"Yep there goes my uncle" lol
Break- ups can be tough but you're tougher.
You're leading a good example for your niece and nephew.

My guilty pleasure would def hafta be shoes.

rayo said...

u saw him, wow. sorry abt d break up, that must rili hurt.

i.can't.complain. said...

i didn't know the vixen was a twin

break ups are tough

1st love break ups are life changing.

-1-

Omotee! said...

hey girlie, good to have u back again!
sorry bout the break up, its always tough but u've gotten past the toughest stage: admitting that you have to break up and actually breaking up. but i can assure it, u'll get over it faster than u ever thot, i mean, i thot i was gonna die last dec and see me!

guilty pleasures, u really really dont wanna know!):

desirae! said...

don't let this disorder get this best of you. don't let it victimize you, you show it whos boss.

&&breaking up is not the business. it's sucks in everyway imaginable. but i'm wishing you all the loveandluck in the world.

your sisters kids are lucky to have you. :) hell, your sister is lucky to have you too

Truthful Trish said...

yooooooooooooooooooooooooo your playlist is on point..and O-M-G you brought it back with Robyn "show me love" that used to be my song lol..like i really forgot about that song lol

Ms. Jones said...

Girl I'm having a hard time getting over my ex (can't even look at his pics) but I'm trying to keep it together at the same time...anywho, musically, Aaliyah and 112 are my current guilty pleasures with a little bit of old school Janet on the side :)

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] said...

it starts with one day at a time...i went through the same thing from the time i was 11-19, no one knew until I was in college...but today I can say I have healthy habits...I'll keep u in my prayers!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

u better be eatting folk

A.M. said...

glad to see things are shapin up for you.

Don't be pushing up on my Barack like that...lol HE was at my school on SAt but like at 6am and my back pain wouldn't allow me to get out of bed...ugh

my guilty pleasure song: Workin em by lil wayne, I know I shouldn't like it but I do :)

Just A Tad Bit said...

hola.

ahhh i WISH el presidente (fingers crossed lol)would come to my school/area. and i definitely have a playlist called guilty pleasures so i guess vulgar songs and boy bands... quite a combo lmao.

viavonne said...

Girl, I could listen to "Can't let go" over and over and over again. I just love that song! Mariah in her heyday. But, re: the ex, I've BEEN there. BELIEVE ME when I tell you! I was so hurt and angry that I couldn't sleep... and I NEVER have a problem going to sleep. If anything, you have to keep me entertained so I don't fall asleep on you past a certain hour. LOL! But, it's just going to take time. It may take a while, or it may happen sooner rather than later... but it does... gradually... get easier. Believe me.

As for my guilty pleasure, I think it has to be Facebook. I just joined a few weeks ago and I swear I must log in 5-10 times a day. It's really sad. LOL.

Glad you've been eating! =)

-Brownngirl

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I am really glad you are getting better with the eating disorder.

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Im glad you are getting better I have suffered from (and thankfully am fully recovered from)an eating disorder so i kind of know what you must be ging through.

Jayne Dough said...

First off.. you saw Barack.. i would of been lightweight geeked too.

and crying is healthy. i always hold a lot in and break down randomly.

But my guitly pleasures are Bob Marley, spending all my money on clothes and shoes, Starbucks, Mt. Dews, Twix, Texting while drunk... and blogging =)

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

Barack waved at you?! OMG, I would have been an official stalker if that happened to me.

Let that dude go and thrive in your life. Remember, things fall apart so that better things can come together.

Guilty Pleasures...lets see...
Music = Ladies of the disco era; Old School Rock and Roll, esp. Jimmy Hendrix and Janis Joplin (I can listen to them EVERYDAY).

Teems said...

New to your blog. great post. My guilty pleasure...cheese. Musically, this girl Anna Nalick, Reality TV, But thats really a couple. I'd have to give it more thought.

Jaded said...

Hey girl! Just checkin' in with ya...seeing if you posted anything new...